Ugh. I can’t believe I’m about to write a blog post related to Miley Cyrus and her Vanity Fair photo shoot for the second time in a week. It would be difficult for me to describe how little I care about Miley Cyrus. But I’ve come across several comments in reference to the photo shoot which have left me wondering. Specifically, there have been many comments about the pictures and video from the shoot with Miley and her dad Billy Ray Cyrus together. Jennifer Graham at National Review says of the video “normal people and pedophiles alike can watch father and daughter snuggle and caress each other in profoundly disturbing ways. We see lots of skin and curves and muscle, and close-ups of dad’s tattoo and daughter’s black toenail polish. It’s all very touching, but not in the Hallmark way.”
And this isn’t just an uptight conservative thing, apparently. Over at Salon.com, Broadsheet blogger Rebecca Traister calls the photo of father and daughter together “truly upsetting” and “suggestive”. She finds the video “much more creepy” than the photo even.
I put the video below, but before you watch it, let me offer my thoughts. I’m probably in the minority here, but I don’t get our culture’s huge hang-up over physical contact between fathers and their teen daughters. If anything, I think it is very unhealthy for a father to cut off physical affection with his daughter once she begins showing signs of womanhood. What a terrible message to send to a girl – “you’re toxic now”. (Of course it is only reasonable and appropriate that a father be more careful not to brush against a developing girl’s chest and should probably have stopped playing “squishy bootie” long ago.) It is not at all uncommon for a girl going through puberty to feel that her body is betraying her. When it brings not only bewildering physical changes, but a withdrawal of a loving father’s affection, one can hardly blame her. Humans are made to need physical contact and that need doesn’t go on hiatus between the time one enters into puberty and when you get married.
I also think it is extremely unhealthy to send the message to a girl entering into womanhood that all physical contact must have sexual overtones. Now that she has begun to develop even her father must be limited to nothing more than a peck on the cheek and a quick hug. Again, the message seems to be “you’re toxic now”. I find that idea far more disturbing than a daughter resting her head in her father’s lap or him brushing her hair aside to kiss her forehead.
Granted, we are a rather affectionate family. When we attended a church with pews, we had a tendency to sit pretty much thigh-to-thigh. I look at this as a good thing. There’s certainly nothing sexual about it. If anyone were to imply that my husband’s physical affection with our daughters was suspect, I would assume that they were the pervert.
And really, what precisely is so disturbing to people about father – teen daughter affection? Do they think it
hints at or could lead to incest? If a father saw his daughter as the subject of sexual interest, then obviously his affection would be inappropriate. Then again, if a father saw his daughter as the subject of sexual interest on his part, that would be a problem all on its own. However, it seems to me that it is precisely because a father doesn’t see his daughter as a sexual object that he would feel comfortable being affectionate with her.
Here’s the video:
So what do y’all think? Should the relationship between teen girls and their fathers be strictly hands off?
Or is there room for cuddling and such? Or is there room for cuddling and such, just not in public – especially when you have pouty lips like Miley Cyrus?
I’m kind of in the middle. I’m uncomfortable with the video, but not because of any particular contact between father and daughter. Rather I think my discomfort stems from Mr. Cyrus’s apparent acceptance and approval of his daughter being posed and photographed in sex-kittenish ways. Certainly, he’s avoiding the damaging message that “you’re toxic”. However, I’m not sure how much less damaging the alternative message in this video seems to be: “You’re a sexy 15 year old, and I’ll help you project yourself to the world that way.”
I guess I’d like to see Miley’s dad being affectionate with her AND telling Vanity Fair, “Hey, my girl is fun, smart and talented. Please take pictures that capture her youthful spirit. Lying down and looking pouty is not what my 15 year old is about.” Something like that…
Stephanie
I agree with Stephanie. I think it’s great to let children be children, to reinforce that they are lovable without sexual overtones, as they enter teenage life…I also think it’s important not to trivialise their sexuality or cheapen young girls as women and sex objects. tephanie is right – be proud of her achievements and the facts that she is bright and fun, not that she is a pouty sexy girl-that’s a complicated and undesirable message.
i’m fine with snuggling with my dad. but my problem is that in the video their body language is suggesting a sexual relationship.
recently miley has been acting like a normal teenage girl, the difference is that she’s out in public life being a normal teenager. she has a boyfriend now and they hang out. she can’t always be a little girl so i suggest we get off her back.
oh and i agree with stephanie and lindy
After watching this video, I’m truly disturbed. I know you think it’s alright to be affectionate with your dad, but after reading this, replay the video, maybe you’ll see where im coming from. First of all, when she layed down in his lap, the way she looked up at him with her eyes squinted and her lips pouted- that didn’t look innocent at all. I think somethings going on between them and it’s … once again, disturbing. I’m 13 years old, and I’ve gone through puberty, my features have started showing. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been giving my dad the cold shoulder. One day he looked at me, and it made me feel like something was crawling in my skin. I’m not saying he ever did anything, but i try to stay as far away from him as possible because that’s just freakin gross. Billy ray Cyrus looks at Miley the same exact way. Freaking disgusting man.
I see nothing wrong with the photos, or the video. If they were taken artfully it doesn’t matter. As for giving your dad the cold shoulder because you’ve developed, thats messed up. It probably has nothing to do with the way you look, your going through that ” I hate the world” and “I hate my daddy” phase that most teenage girls go through. Once again, nothing wrong with what is going on in the video, let them be father and daughter and get over it!
Obviously, this photo shoot conveys some rather disturbing sexual implications.
Then again, the Cyrus should never have consented to a photo shoot with that strange lesbian pedophile, Annie Leibovitz.
the video is not showing
so no comment
Speaking as a dad…
Yes affection is important, and cuddling within reason is good. These help build self-esteem and trust which are a big deal when a teen faces peer pressure and behavioral issues later on. But the daughter has to be comfortable with it; when she outgrows snuggling then Dad has to let go.
Not that Miley Cyrus needs more self-esteem, she seems pretty well set there. I think Stephanie hit it right on with her last paragraph. Billy Ray could stand to play a little less of the promoter role and a little more of the dad role. But I don’t see anything offensive in the video. They’re not flirting with each other, they’re following instructions from a world renowned photographer–celebrities doing what they think We The People expect them to do.
Mike
Hugs, kisses on the cheek are fine. How about you walk into your bedroom and his 10 year old daughter is straddled over him in YOUR BED? It was not sexual, but what a turn off. There is a time and a place for affection between father and daughter. I do not feel that her laying in our bed on top of him even if they were watching cartoons is appropriate. AND I remember when I was that age. I would NOT WANT TO lay next to my dad in his bed. Would it be OK if my 16 year old son was straddling me in our bed? NO. This girl wears a training bra and has a crush on a boy at school. Some girls have their periods at that age. Hugs and kisses fine, this laying in their laps and on top of their dads. NO.
Let’s just say that for those of you that think that photo is cool. If you did not know that was his daughter and you were asked to tell someone what you saw in the photo..you would say it was provocotive.
It’s more of the typical “man = sexual predator, woman = victim” mentality rearing it’s ugly head, as it so often does.
What I see in the photograph are a man and a young woman. Suggestive? How? Provocative? How?
If society would spend less time demonizing men and fathers – everyone would be a whole lot better off.
ok being a family & fashion photographer what is going on here is a pretty standard shoot of posing 2 people elegantly and trying to show a relationship of closeness. They are both ideal attractive model material and I think perhaps with that in mind I think the photographer or art director has got carried away and confused with a couples fashion shoot. The trend these days is to use fashion looks to make a tired dinosuar of high street family photography more contemporary.
It is clear to me that they are acting for the camera as public image industry professionals. You can see her dad looks at her admiringly from a distance but when posed rather closely he shows willful restraint. I think they both looked slightly uncomfortable with it and business like as most models are when striking a pose.
i would never ask families to pose like that, but then I have never attmepted just father and teenager daughter shots. It’s a tough call and evidently the crew got it wrong this time. I am glad to see from comments here that people want to draw the line as is so much needed today in a world full of imagery pushing the boundaries. No one seems to know the difference between what is appropriate and not.
As photographers we have to ask ourselves what are we saying with our images in the name of cool/freespeech and the wider implications of our images.
When trying to be innovative myself I have to ask myself that question everyday and adjust accord to how my conscience and understanding guides me.
I hope they realise the image although elegantly posed at best was not appropriate to the relationship. Family Fun and less couple type poses would have been better. Posing models is an art that I am still learning.
With all his millions why isn’t there a Mrs. Cirus in the picture????
Miley is (or was here) 15 years old. 15! Some commenters are talking like she’s 10! Get real, she’s a young woman now, and allowed to look fantastic….and WOW, does she look fantastic! The pictures are extremely tasteful, capturing the essence of one of the strongest relationships known to mankind – that of a father and daughter. Are the pictures “sexy”? Of course they are, but what’s wrong with that? There’s always a “sexual” element, to some extent, when two people of the opposite sex interact in this way. Father and daughter are of opposite sex, and there’s nothing wrong with them interacting, and recognizing each other’s sexiness. It’s NATURAL. That doesn’t mean they’re gonna hop into bed together.